What I Thought Comedy Was (Part 2) by Anthony Corvino

I was sweaty, and nervous stammering out jokes like they were mini-seizures my body needed to expel. If I had kept them in any longer, I might give the audience enough time to think, “Hey I don’t think that guy is a real comic? He’s just a homeless nineteen-year old boy they let do comedy in exchange for bread crumbs and the occasional sink shower.” But alas, my first time in front of a paid audience I was heckled and my cover was blown wide open. Worst of all, the heckler was a mom, a mom sitting next to her husband and two young daughters. She couldn’t stand anymore of my shit and
mustered up the courage to say,”This shit isn’t funny and neither are you.” I would have retaliated back at her, but I agreed. This shit wasn’t funny.

My first heckling experience taught me a lot about who I was, and who I thought I was which happened to be two very different people. I thought I was an awkward, lanky teenager whose nervousness overshadowed his natural, god-given talent. I turned out to be an awkward, lanky teenager whose nervousness was confused for actual talent. Please remember, this was during the height of the Michael Cera era in cinema aka the year Anthony could have had it all! But stand-up comedy had that power over me, especially in those early open mic experiences, I had let go of myself in favor of mirroring people I respected, idolized and wished I would become. What I became was unoriginal, bland, and uninteresting. Five years have passed since those experiences and the jury is still out.

My first heckling experience also taught me a lot about white women. Not in the sense that I have acquired a nuanced knowledge of the opposite sex and their various mating calls. More in a sense that white women in their early forties to late fifties are notorious for heckling at stand up comedy shows. I could try to extrapolate some half-baked theory on why this is so but I feel that could only lead to a strong backlash of deserved criticism. So this is what I think, white women lead boring lives and wish they could escape them so they can feel like they’re in the spotlight for a just a little before they fall back into their meager existence of cleaning kitchens and making suburban soccer ball team themed cookies.

Note: If that last line offended you please look over how I set up the joke and then re-read the punchline. If you’re still offended, you can reach me at anthony.john.corvino@gmail.com. I appreciate your email heckle.

Anthony Corvino is from New York originally and is now a stand up comic in Wilmington, NC and an improviser with the Nutt House Improv Troupe.  You can check out his website here